One of the very first things my husband and I talked about after finding out we were expecting our first child was whether or not I was going to be a stay at home mom. Growing up in the nineties, I remember how stay at home moms were quite common, unfortunately, after the economic crash of 9/11, nowadays, more often than not it takes two working parents to support a household. I can probably count on one hand the number of mom’s I know that get to stay at home with their kids. After all, the cost of Insurance for a family of three alone can easily average well over $400 a month. After sitting down and crunching the numbers, in quadrillion different ways, I might add it didn’t take us long to realize I would be joining the league of working moms.
Something I’ve noticed, however, is how much people like to ask you this very question. I was at an appointment just the other day when a woman asked me if I would be staying at home with my son. After reluctantly telling her no she launched into a five-minute spiel about how sorry she was that I was going to miss out on all the big milestones like my child’s first steps and first words. I stood there being as stoic as possible while filled with the anguish of knowing that I might not be the first person to hear him say, mommy. Yes, woman, I get it, I’m a terrible mother, just keep rubbing it in. And while I don’t believe the woman intended to hurt my feelings it’s essential for us as women to respect each mother’s unique situation. After all, for most moms, it’s not that we don’t want to stay at home with our little ones, but merely that in today’s economy, we simply can’t.