To my dear Thump Thump,
I may not have met you yet, but the love I have for you is more than any words can express. One day, when you are older, I imagine you finding yourself reading this journal entry. Perhaps, under a shade tree on a warm sunny day while the birds chirp cheerfully in their nests. Or maybe, in your own living room surrounded by the love of your own family. But no matter where you are I hope they bring you joy in knowing how much your father and I celebrated your long awaited arrival.
I should first start off by saying that you were our precious little miracle. You see many doctors told me that the ability for me to conceive a child was nearly impossible due to a medical condition called polycystic ovarian syndrome. They said that if by the off chance I were to get pregnant not to get my hopes up as I would most likely miscarry within the first trimester. But your father and I held on to the promise that through God all things are possible. We prayed for months before God finally answered in a dream I had early one morning. In the dream, I am walking towards your father as he held you up joyfully up in the air and spun you around. As I approached your voice sung out to me with joy only a child’s could, “Momma,” you said as you giggled. As soon as I got up, I couldn’t wait to tell your father. He was so excited and thankful to know God would show such favor to us, and so we kept our promise a secret for years knowing that when the time was right with His guidance, you would be ours.
Late November 2016, after much prayer we decided it was time to try to have our little miracle. Little did we know, we wouldn’t have to wait long. I still remember how thrilled I was when I missed my period in December. Your father and I rushed to the store to buy a pregnancy test. Your father stood anxiously by the entrance of our bathroom door but when the test came back negative he was confused, and I was devastated. I cried myself to sleep that night as I prayed to God asking Him for strength. Little did I know; our little miracle was already blossoming inside me. The whole week of Christmas I was nauseous and figured I just had the flu but in the back of my mind was a flicker of hope “what if.” I guess you could say it was my own mustard seed of faith that I was holding on to, so once again on Christmas morning, we took another test but once again it was negative. I sat there on the toilet and cried as your father hugged me and tried his best to comfort me. I did my best to trudge through Christmas and plaster a fake smile on my face, pretending I was happy when inside I was falling apart.
About two weeks later when I still was plagued by nausea, we decided to take one more pregnancy test before calling the doctor. I had decided I was either pregnant or having gall-bladder problems. So once again we found ourselves in the bathroom anxiously watching the small plastic stick on the bathroom counter. The little symbols slowly came into view. We couldn’t believe it; the test was positive! Over the next two weeks, your father made me take two more just to be sure. To say we were thrilled would not do it justice. God had fulfilled His promise He had made to us all those years before proof that all things are made perfect in His timing. We held each other in the middle of our bathroom as I cried, but this time those tears that cascaded down my cheeks were filled with trickles of joy.
Love Mommy and Daddy
L.E Wright – A Letter to My Son – A Devotional